Private Parts Unknown Podcast: Smart about Sex, Relationships & The World

 In season four, episode 11 of the TV sitcom Friends, Chandler asks Monica and Rachel about sexually satisfying a woman. Monica responds by drawing a diagram of a woman's seven erogenous zones.

Chandler responds with disbelief in his voice, "there are seven!"

And that popular TV show episode summarizes why there are a sizable number of podcasts tackling sexuality, relationships, and love.

First, for all the conservative uproar over sex education, that subject focuses more on biology and morality preaching than the actual mechanics of intimacy. Hundreds of studies have shown that parents have two strategies about educating their children about sex. Number one: abstinence until marriage. Number two is a tangled mess of parental misinformation sprinkled with a heavy-handed dose of mostly Don'ts.

Second, studies (and just life) reveal that too many boys and men learn about sex through watching porn. Unfortunately, sex is disconnected from intimacy in porn. It's more of a "I got mine, and maybe you got some, too" visual life lesson for boys to assimilate. 

In porn, women aren’t partners in a pleasurable activity. Instead, there are expected to moan on cue.

That's why we need podcasts like Private Parts Unknown. This podcast isn't only about sex. The co-hosts like to span genres by calling it a "a comedy-sex-travel podcast exploring stories of love & sexuality around the world."

In the case of the two co-hosts, Courtney Kocak and Sofiya Alexandra, they've certainly pulled off this genre omelet by dint of their intelligence, respect for their listeners, life experiences, podcasting skill, and close relationship.

This is how Kocak and Alexandra define their relationship: "We’re best friends and long-time writing partners who’ve collaborated on countless projects like Amazon’s Emmy-winning animated series Danger & Eggs, voiced by SNL’s Aidy Bryant, a national Get Out the Vote commercial starring Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Melissa Fumero and Stephanie Beatriz, and shaving Sofiya’s legs (work in progress)."

Courtney Kocak is currently the lead producer for Neon Hum on The Bellas Podcast with the Bella Twins for Endeavor Audio, as well as the podcast version of Amanda de Cadenet’s popular Lifetime series The Conversation for Spotify. Kocak also is an essayist for the LA Times, The Washington Post, and other outlets, finding fodder in everything from embarrassing post-breakup antics to a recent resolution to get rejected over 200 times (yes, she’s a masochist). 

Sofiya Alexandra moved to LA from Odessa, Ukraine, when she was 11. She's been featured on Comedy Centralʼs This Is Not Happening telling a story about her grandpa’s dick surgery, was named one of the 50 Funniest Women on Twitter by Playboy, and has performed in many standup festivals across the country. She hosts a monthly show at the Westside Comedy Theater called Yelp Wanted, where comics tell jokes and then review each other.

Courtney Kocak (l.) and Sofiya Alexandra.

Kocak and Alexandra pitch their podcast this way: "When we’re not traveling, we’re going to unpack the most timely and unique LA-centric stories back at home. From talking to a newly-founded strippers’ union to exploring the surrogacy process with a gay couple, our mission is to broadcast vital perspectives that entertain, challenge, and change us into better people. (And by “us,” we mean you guys because we’re perfect in every way.)"

They end by sonically hugging their fans with a: "Ok, love you, drink more water"

There are plenty of solid "sex" podcasts out there. Savage Lovecast with Dan Savage, for example, leverages call-in questions from listeners to propel the show, and Savage is an advice columnist with a lot of experience and common sense, empathy, and actionable solutions. 

Sex With Emily podcast has been around for 15 years and Dr. Emily Morse bills the podcast as, "the show that has been liberating sex, pleasure and you." The podcast focuses on sexuality and learning more about sex, so listeners can derive more pleasure. 

Private Parts Unknown, which is approaching 100 episodes, takes a more expansive approach to sexuality, incorporating episodes about love, relationships, societal norms, abortion, and interpersonal history.

The latest episode, "How to help transform U.S. sex education" is one of their best. With guest Jaclyn Friedman, founder and Executive Director of EducateUS, the episode plunges into reasons why sex education is so deficient and sometimes counterproductive in the U.S. This episode like to take stereotypes and myths and stomp on them. For example, Friedman explains that a sex education curriculum can help young children understand their bodies and better identify and articulate child abuse.

If you want a show about sexuality that will instruct you about the right battery for your sex toys, Private Parts Unknown can help answer that question, but the podcast is simply so much more. 

The podcast has run episodes on the war in Ukraine, the politics of abortion, and an episode in April called, "The sex lives of African women."

In the July 29, 2022, episode on abortion,  guest Dr. Diana Greene Foster discusses the results of a study that looks out the consequences of having an abortion denied. In this episode, Courtney shares with her listeners that she had an abortion in 2007 and was saved from maintaining a toxic relationship. It's a tender moment.

Moreover, this podcast does not ignore basic, mechanical and physiological questions about sexuality. A February episode, "Vibrators: A brief history of a gal's best friend" was chock-full of helpful information for women who want to enjoy self-pleasure.

That's why this podcast is so terrific. Because of its expansive view of sexuality, Private Parts Unknown does not simply offer listeners a "playbook" of sex moves like some "sex" podcasts. To Kocak and Alexandra, sex is not a football game with a game plan and an "if they do this, we do that" strategy. 

Instead, Private Parts Unknown continually links sexuality to intimacy, connecting with partners, acting responsibly and recognizing our social construct. Kocak and Alexandra know a well-known yet ignored secret: "The mind is our greatest erogenous zone."

In a sweet connection to their listeners, Kocak and Alexandra refer to them as "privates." In addition, the production values on the podcast are excellent. Consequently, sound clarity, levels, and crispness are easily rated as exceptional. Even the intro and outro music has melodic flair. Further, the host-read ads are expertly curated and enthusiastically done without overhype. 

Even the products they advertise -- sex toys, intimacy aids -- connect to their expertise. I always find that reassuring. The co-hosts are marketing products that they understand, and they know the needs of their listeners. I'm always amazed when podcast hosts read an ad for a product or service in which they have no expertise or knowledge.

"Sure, you're a sports podcaster talking about soccer, and I should believe you when you advise me to invest some of my savings in some cryptocurrency."

Thankfully, Kocak and Alexandra have too much respect for their audience to become circus barkers like some podcasters. They've earned their listeners' trust. They value that. Kudos.

Finally, successful podcasts with co-hosts excel when there is chemistry there. That's absolutely true in Private Parts Unknown. Sometimes that off-mike familiarity, however, can impede the podcast because the co-hosts chat on the mic too casually, off-topic, and discuss "inside info." Happy chatter in a podcast is like a sweet dessert. A little goes a long way. Here, Kocak and Alexandra balance themselves perfectly. 

Check out Private Parts Unknown.  The co-hosts have chemistry in perfect proportions. The topics range from sex positions, how to self-drive your vulva, the history of swear words, and sex toys to exploding myths about abortions, avoiding toxic relationships, and breast cancer.

The podcast, while positioned for women, can a powerful antidote for dudes swimming in the turgid currents of masculinity. Turn off the porn and put on your earbuds.