Multiamory Podcast: Relationships Are Complex: They Can Help

 When I first heard about the Multiamory podcast, I read its mission statement, which reads: "We believe in looking to the future of relationships, not maintaining the status quo of the past. We value ethics over tradition, and we believe that a healthy world is one where everybody has agency in their relationships."

Intrigued by their foray into relationship complexity, I read on: 

"We offer new ideas and advice for multiple forms of love: everything from conscious monogamy to ethical polyamory and radical relationship anarchy. We combine the knowledge from our years of personal experience with the best information available and present it in a way that’s entertaining, thought-provoking, and easy to apply to your relationships."

While I am more of a conscious monogamy type of person, I understand that a one-size-fits-all relationship structure can be limiting and suffocating. There is recent data that people today are exploring a wider choice of relationship configurations.

Let's be clear. I am not, nor is the podcast, advocating an Ashley Madison type of relationship where a person (usually a guy) declares a monogamy only to pursue secretive polyamory. 

So in late September, I began to listen to the Multiamory podcast. Imagine my surprise when I learned that the podcast has been around since 2014, and building a substantial and loyal listener base. 

I learned quickly from the podcast, that the podcast name comes from the Latin prefix multi, meaning multiple, and the Latin root amor, meaning love. Multiamory represents multiple forms of love—everything from monogamy to nonmonogamy, casual dating to queerplatonic, married couples to those who are single by choice, and everything in between.

I began listening to past episodes of Multiamory with eager ears and an open mind. 

I took seriously what the co-hosts at Multiamory had promised me as a listener: "Conventional relationship advice is toxic and outdated. If you want some out-of-the-box ideas to deepen your current relationships, find the best romantic partners for you, broaden your sexual horizons, or develop a better understanding of yourself, then check out our podcast."

I wasn't looking for multiple forms of love -- I struggled with the conventional form -- but I was sure the podcast had much to offer any style of relationship or love.

After listening to 20 episodes, I felt like I had discovered a gold mine. Many episodes didn't appeal to me because I have no interest in polyamory, which is the practice of engaging in multiple romantic (and typically sexual) relationships, with the consent of all the people involved. To be clear, I believe relationship models are like jars of jelly. There are lots of choices -- strawberry preserves, orange marmalade, grape jam, etc. -- and all can be legitimately delicious. Same with relationships -- gay, bisexual, polyamorous -- whatever works for the participants.

Many of the episodes of Multiamory are about communication in relationships. That spurred my interest, because lack of communications in a relationship is like that piece of dust in the port that keeps your iPhone from charging. 

Episode 123, for example, on The Science Of Happy Relationships covered communication, fighting styles, and how a friendship with your romantic partner can be an asset. Episode 131 about dumpster-fire relationships was eye-opening, funny, and sadly, too familiar to many of us.

Episode 134, Conscious Monogamy, was insightful as the co-hosts talked about "jealous monogamy" where people use monogamy to protect themselves from surging feelings of jealousy.

By April 2018, the podcast had begun to investigate the communication aspects of relationships. They began Communications Hacks: Booster Pack, which are communication tips.

In the last five years, the podcast has focused on the core of successful relationships, no matter how they are defined or framed.

The podcast has run episodes on a wide range of relationship topics, from toxicity to deconstructing jealousy, and nonverbal communication to building a foundation of trust.

My point is you do not have to be some relationship pioneer, testing different forms of love and connection to enjoy and learn from this podcast.

In February 2023, the co-hosts put out a book on Amazon and Barnes & Noble called Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships.

 Speaking of the co-hosts. They are three. And in the podcasting world, three can be a crowd when co-hosting. People interrupting, talking over one another, or simply creating chaos for listeners because of the multiple voices.

Yet these three people co-exist well on their podcast. Everyone contributes and offers a unique and valuable perspective. More importantly, they have mastered the art of three-person conversational flow. I think they should hold classes.

Emily Sotelo Matlack insists that she has been fascinated by relationships since she was young, and has immersed herself in relationship education and creating healthy communication tools for nearly a decade. She is an actor, singer, and proud vegan. She claims to be the funny bone of the Multiamory trio, and she'll also kick your ass at Mario Kart. In addition to laughing and crying about relationships on air each week, you can spot her singing and dancing in a play, performing in Hong Kong or Shanghai Disneyland, or serving every vegan who ever lived at the plant-based restaurant at which she works.

Dedeker Winston is a relationship coach, writer, and advocate for polyamory and non-traditional relationships. She is the author of The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know about Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love, published by Skyhorse Press.

 Jase Lindgren is a non-monogamous dating coach, healthy masculinity educator, and sex-positivity advocate. He has trained in positive psychology, Emotional Freedom Technique, consent education, and Buddhist mindfulness practice. He has worked with the government and celebrities on HIV public awareness in Russia.

So Multiamory is a worthy destination for your ears and your mind to get more information about the entire range of relationships, not just traditional monogamy. For those in these non-traditional but entirely legitimate relationships, this podcast can act as your mental defibrillator, helping to revive a connection that has flatlined over the years. 

However, the podcast offers extremely helpful and insightful advice about the basics of maintaining a strong relationship -- good communication, trust building, and respect. 

In essence, Multiamory can be your Swiss Army Knife for relationships of all shapes and forms -- from gay to monogamous to polyamorous to asexual to queerplatonic to casual.

I recommend listening to Multiamory to laugh, learn, and be challenged. After all, I have not met too many people in my life who have told me, "Relationships are easy. No fuss. No muss."

After all, relationships are like eating buttered popcorn at the movies. It's delicious and delightful, but it can be messy and leave a lot of shit on your hands, face, and clothes. 

 

The Co-Hosts of the Multiamory podcast.