Even If It Kills Me: A Podcast About A Band That Almost Was

 The music industry is like a glacier. On top, above the water, we see the big music stars like Adele, Carrie Underwood, Drake, Olivia Rodrigo, Taylor Swift, and The Weeknd. Below the surface, are hundreds of thousands of musicians, from singers to bands, who try to make a living from their dream. As of March 2024, there are about 10 million artists / audio creators on Spotify with at least one track. Eight million of them have uploaded less than 10 tracks ever. Five million of them have less than 100 total lifetime streams. 

In effect, playing music as a sustaining career is a tough gig. You don't just need talent. You need commitment, perseverance, good fortune, good people surrounding you, and timing. Consider that Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee went to No. 1...65 years after it was released. Or Kate Bush's Running Up That Hill was released in 1985 and became a top ten hit in 2022 due to Netflix's Stranger Things.

So a six-part podcast about a band that almost was is a chronicle that happens daily in the music business.

Even If It Kills Me chronicles four high school friends — a gang, bonded together by dead-end small town upbringings and dreams of something bigger. When the band signed to a record deal in the early ‘00s, Jon, Mac, Ryan, and Pete were thrust headlong into the rock star whirlwind they had only barely imagined possible. At least, that’s how it seemed.

Over six episodes, writer/narrator Aaron Joy documents his time spent on the road with his friends as they flirted with stardom through the ‘00s. Even If It Kills Me is a FANG workshop production

This is the story of the band that almost was. You won’t hear what this band sounds like. You won’t even learn their name. But you know this band, even if you don’t.

Even If It Kills Me is a narrative documentary podcast, chronicling the lives of Jon, Ryan, Mac and Pete as they set out across the country and try to make it as rock stars in the bygone era of the ‘00s. Each episode uses contemporary interviews and archival recordings to pull back the curtain on the nitty-gritty inner workings of tour life, all unfolding during the music industry’s own fall of Rome, as massive technological shifts upended business models that had existed for decades. 

I've listened to the first three episodes and here are my impressions. Aaron Joy is an excellent scriptwriter and an engrossing narrator. Joy takes his time with his narrative. He doesn't forsake complexity for moral simplicity, and he doesn't mind bathing in contradiction.  

In the three episodes I listened to, Joy reminds us that the line between success in the music business and failure is not a straight one, but an ellipsis that can transform strengths into weaknesses in a blink of an eye.

If being a rock star is a dream come true, then nearly becoming one has its nightmarish qualities. Aaron Joy snapshots that "a star is almost born" sense of slipping and falling before summiting Everest.

Check out, Even If It Kills Me. It's a fascinating tale of what happens when our dreams crash into reality.